yeah.

2:37am: When I was a kid I told my mom to 'chill out', she thought it meant to go die and she grounded me.
Alright, been some time since I posted in this thing. Since which, I became single and then back with Ms. Ambur Mohlman. Went to vegas for new years, she ended up there as well yadda yadda yadda. This weekend was nice, friday drank at seans and sat went to marks. Also went to this rad slide park in orange on saturday, after eating at rudabagorz. And tonight we went to this bar with free pool, and the bartenders are all wearing lingere.
Sean leaves back to Bristol tommorrow morning, and sebastian has already left to espana about 2 days back. This is definitly not helping my urge to travel around and have adventures. But then again lack of money isn't really helping either. Oh well better go to bed, have work in the morning. um... bye.

2:40am: Tonight was relatively uneventful, but ended much better than I expected. But I will go back to that later, lets start from yesterday.
Last night I went drinking with ambur, her friend Jill, and of course all the regular kids. We localed the Fullerton bars we usually do when nothing else is going on, and Jill seemed to have a nice time, and ambur as well... I believe this simply because they both threw up. And might I add, ambur did so in my car, but I really can't complain. I've done the same if not a worse throw up in other peoples cars. And besides she paid for my food today and I got to clean up my car so that it looked more like a $500 car, rather than the usual $100. Anyhow, today was good not only for the cleaning of my car (and might I add the fixing of the rear tail light,) but I also got to get wasted and play pool (poorly.) Yeah I really have little more to say, because.... I've been drinking. blarg. night.

ps- mark... WINGMEN!

9:49am: Turkey Fucker.
Today is Thanksgiving; I've read (well I think I read) that Thanksgiving, is actually historically celebrating the overpowering victory against some Native Americans. I'd give a shit but... I mean unlimited mashed potatoes dude, fuck those corn growing sons of bitches.
I woke up today with a mild hangover, and i really can't accurately explain last night... but here's a shot at it. So Ambur and I meet up in Fullerton to have a drink and talk about some stuff we were bent about, we make up. Side note, I realized from this argument, you can't easily say "I want this to work... god damn it," without both parties snickering. Regardless, I take her home because she was tired, and drive to dollar beer night, or Rembrandts rather where I'm greeted by Anjie, Dru, Mark, and jay telling me we need to get stoned. We do so, come back and realize (like so many others at the bar), my bartender Misty... is fucked up... but I'd seen her wasted before so I really didn't worry about it too much... because... I was high. Anyhow, I keep drinking and see Misty the bartender playing with a deck of cards from the booth next to where the retarded high kids are sitting. I think we were talking about the Cheetah in Harold and Kumar, and then Joanne said I looked like Kumar, and I called her a bitch for saying that.... But that’s off topic, anyhow Misty, I guess during our retarded conversation totally hurls all over herself, and she goes to the bathroom where a bunch of us go in after her. I show up in there with some crackers, and ask her if she'll be alright. She told me she was fine, and "soon we're all going to fuck." Anjie, Mark, John and I bust up laughing and Misty just replies with "what we will." She later tells everyone to leave but John, so they can hang out in the bathroom stall. I go back to drinking, get high again, explain that I know everyone’s middle name, realize I don't, go drink some beers. Leave the bar to go to earls, pick food off of peoples plates, see some pictures of some girl making out with Quentin Terentino, realize I don't give a shit, go home and crash out..
tonight: so much food, and wild turkey.

10:57am: Ok haven't posted in a bit so quick recap... alright so jays b-day went to marty's house pinata masacare, really sweet ass pictures of jay. Prices of drinks at the tuscany club are ridiculous. Next day woke up, go to del taco before meeting up with jay, have an over the phone interview. 20 packs of Coors for 11 bucks, go to the park, cake fight, beer fight, pinata destruction, park rangers, have to clean it all up.. The women arent there, I get pissed, I get too pissed, appologize. Go to chuck e cheese, play a lot of games, kickball in the parking lot. Next morning watch sideways, kung fu hustle and life aquatic drinking whiskey at ambur's. Yesterday went to frys, watched Star war episode III, went to pomodoro to see whitney off, went to jeff's talked about the rick moranis country album and things I can't recall now, went home. The end.

10:23am: Dollar... something my head... ow.
Shots of stuff... mark, jay anjie, and I in anjies car.. dollar beers... earls... something... I forget, dude jake you were fucked up.

9:06am: Three pitchers of beer make you dream silly things.
So after work last night, Spanky came over and we went to Alcatraz Brewery drank three pitchers of beer, and talked about shit. Then he crashed at my house, I had a dream I met Morgan Freeman, and I told him "I'm a big fan," and he told me something along the lines of "Thank you, but my work hasn't been up to par now has it" and I got confused and didn't know how to answer that without offending him. Then later in the dream sebastian, jay, spanky and I went to the symphony and marveled at our ID badges that showed black and white video of ourselves earlier that day. Which showed me hiding weapons from police officers. Yeah I don't know, my dreams make no sense when I drink... well really they never make sense. Man will my farts be bad today.

ps- did you know alcatraz prison/island was actually named after the type of pelicans that inhabited the area.

8:52am: Dejé el corazón en México, y en mis pantalones
Friday started a bit lame, but slowly made its way to being an amazing night. After endless amounts of miscommunication, bickering, and god knows what else we were finally set on going to Mexico. The car loads were Josh, Brian, Erika, Jay, and Mark. In Smell Good Marks car, Anjie, Sebastian, Ambur and myself. Ambur and I were late because she had to drop off art supplies, but since being late is expected of me, no one minded. Well that’s probably because half of them were stoned when I got there. We met up at Brian’s and there was an issue of too many people coming. I’m so Jeri and Jake, I love you guys but booyakasha off to Mexico. The car ride was about 3 minutes deep when we realized we needed to pick up some beer. We chugged a few at the 76 gas station parking lot, and then once again at a rest stop in San Diego. After some sing alongs, chips, and farts we were in Rosarito, Mexico. We found the same bar we went to last time, and even stayed at our old motel. We paid 10 bucks and drank all night for free, may I add this place was like an abandoned 3 story club. We stayed on the roof kicking chairs, having drinking competitions, and giving a millions toasts. Although I must add every mixed drink had tequila, for example, my screwdriver (usually a beverage consisting of vodka and orange juice) in Mexico is fanta and tequila. I suppose I cant complain, because the girls rocked the stripper poles, not as well as us dudes of course, who one upped them with a break dance competition. So drunk as hell we stumble out to Papas and Beers. Once we get there, Ambur and Anjie fall all over the place, unable to keep their balance on the sand. Oh yeah, all of Papas and Beers is on the beach. Anyhow we get some more drinks, and take off a bit early. Jay, Mark, Brian and Erika stay behind. I then have the best burrito of my life, try smoking a cigg and can’t finish it. Head back to the room at like 2 or so, and pass the fuck out. Then I wake up to a groaning sound, which progressively get louder and louder. Until I could no longer go back to sleep, and I feel I'm the only one up. It turns out to be Erika, we all start laughing, and she then proceeds to losing her mind, she was still wasted I think. Also I must add, within these four hours of my sleep. Smell Good Mark got pulled over driving drunk and paid $100, to the federales. Officially making Smell Good mark the idiot of the weekend. Also may I add, smell good mark had a vile of cologne, to ensure his smell goodness. Anyhow that cologne was later dumped on Sebastian by Anjie when we were all beating the crap out of each other at 6 or 7 am. Oh yeah all 10 of us are in this one room, I forgot to add that in this. So its 7 or 8 am, we are awake get breakfast and then off to drinking on the beach at club Iggy’s, go to this amazing taco stand called Roberto’s I think. Then back to the room to get Smell good mark, Jay, Brian, and Erika, who all were in no condition for morning drinking. But afternoon drinking on the other hand was no problem. We went to the market and saw all sorts of neat stuff, Sebastian bought a poncho and smell good mark bought ninja stars. We went to an abandoned bar with cheap drinks sat on the roof where you could see the ocean and drank ourselves stupid again. Then Smell good mark threw his ninja star at a board like 2 feet from Jay, and it bounced off.... Smell good Mark the idiot of the weekend, I'm telling you. Anyhow got stupid Anjie started a beer fight. Anjie, who also gets the two best quotes of the weekend by saying, "I'd rather have AIDS than a baby" and "Babies are like the worst S.T.D. ever." So then we go back to the taco stand, the girls are let in free to some club. To try and lure us into it, but then they don’t listen to us to leave. So I start to get pissed off, until Brian tells me to put myself in their shoes and I realize I'm an idiot. I take a few xanax go to sleep through the whole drive back home still dead, turned off my phone and spent the night at Ambur’s. The end.

3:02pm: The mystery of how I got home last night.
In case you weren't aware it is almost tradition now, for every Wednesday to go to Kelly's Korner for dollar beer night, but the bar that gets us messed up is actually next door to Kelly's. The name is escaping me at the moment, but take my word for it.. I was fucked up last night dude. Anyhow, I recall drinking at Kelly’s, then next door where Misty, the best bartender in the mother fucking world served us, then smoking pot crammed in Anjies car with 7 other people. But then nothing, I felt as though I was raped of my hours and it left me bitter. Barely able to function, I hurried to get ready and left the house to work, which I was late for. The whole way wondering how ever did I find my way back home? So the pieces slowly came together. First a missed call at 1:40am led me to believe that I probably was asleep before then. The message was from Jay and John prank calling me that they got arrested, I later found they too had a case of amnesia, by not remembering the call what so ever. Next at lunch John reminded me of when he almost broke my back with his fist. This instantly brought back that moment of pain, which seemed like the only memory I can recall after leaving anjies car. This also led me to believe I must have been drunk, me being the tower of muscles I am. Ok... maybe I’m no colossus, but we are getting side tracked. Anyhow, so I call josh to find out the events of the night which fills in all the gaps and led me to believe I had a great time, regardless if I remember or not. Apparently I stumbled into joshes car completely wasted, I had some beers at Kelly’s after Anjie’s car, and left with josh and matt. Matt and I wanted del taco because we were starving supposedly, so josh went to the drive through, where I ordered a Veggie Works no rice (my usual choice) and after we got the food josh handed me my burrito, and I then informed him I ordered no such thing and that I wasn’t even hungry. And within 30 seconds of that, I fell asleep or into a "coma" as he said. He punched me and slapped me to wake me up and then I stumbled into my house around 1 am. But I'd like to think I was fighting crime through all that time. Um... the end.

2:37pm: this is my journal, I have now officially lost my penis
Here is my journal, jake tried setting it up... but hes a moron asshole, so I had to do most of it. I still love him though, but thats mainly because he will probably read this. I am setting up this journal pretty much because my memory is getting terrible, and with the great amount of time I have to spend online. I suppose its best for me to set up some ground rules for myself. Because looking at everyone else's journals it seems as though you have to become a big baby and cry about shit... Although I am now realizing I'm doing the same thing by making fun of them... Ah well onward.

Issue 1. no gay poetry, if I say anything along the lines of "my heart choked with barbwire" or some shit please blow my fucking brains out.

Issue 2. no fucking tests, I don't care which Dawson's creek member I'm most like, or what percent party animal I am, you won't see it here.

Issue 3. If this journal gets too gay it will be abandoned, and left here as a reminder that I'm an idiot. Which Im sure the journal will reflect soon if not already.

Issue 4. This is a journal to reflect on my past events not an avenue to vent my emotional frustrations, thats what alcohol and beating women is for.

Issue 5. Rules are gay nevermind who gives a shit

Anyhow ba ba bada ba ba bada baaa! On to some shit.